I’ve been reading through old journals and cataloging my entries. I have about 70 journals that I’ve dumped my feelings, events, sermons, processes, and thoughts into over the past 27 years and I’ve come to realize one major truth: Time Heals. It’s an obvious truth, but unless we give ourselves over to the healing process, we won’t really be able to embody this truth.
For many years, I was tempted to toss many of my journals into the trash or even burn them because it was too painful to read them. Thankfully, when it was too difficult to read them over the past 10 years, I just kept putting them back into some banker’s boxes and let them be. Intuitively, I knew there were lessons for me to learn in them, but I had to go through some phases first. One of those phases was anger and I’ll be the first to admit this phase lasted longer than I wanted it to. But I didn’t shove this anger aside. I held space for it and was aware that it wasn’t going to last if indeed I kept after my healing.
Healing is a funny thing. There is no formula for healing that works for every human. Healing unfolds uniquely for each of us and I don’t know if we ever can say, I’m done healing. I have accepted it as part of being human on this earth. So, sure there may still be a little anger in me at some of the things I’ve gone through in my life but I’ve come to a place where I’m learning not to be angry at another so much. Anger is a crucial part of the healing process and I feel alive to feel it. I want to feel it and then find the healing balm of moving through it.
I don’t want to be complaining and frustrated at the same things in a year. So, the inside job is to work on whatever it is that comes to the surface and wade through it. I may start in the shallow end of my wading, but I guarantee that I will be fully submerged in a matter of time because I want to be from negativity. I only want positive energy running through my veins, and I don’t mean just from a heady point of view. I want to embody pure, positive energy. And to find this purity, I must do the work.
Jill you are a beautiful person. Thankyou for sharing your insights and feelings. Barb and I finally saw Christa at your store. Maybe we’ll get to see you next time…