Why I Don’t Believe That Jesus Is My Savior

A friend of mine recently turned me on to Pete Holmes podcast, which I never would have chosen from the title of his show, “You Made It Weird”, but thankfully I have vowed… Continue reading

When Church Leaders Abuse Their Position

At the young age of 22, I entered into a youth program through Christ Church Kirkland (CCK), called Master’s Commission. This was an intense one year course, that focused on discipleship & leadership… Continue reading

Pathway to Authenticity

The road to being the most authentic you isn’t always glorious or exciting. For me, the past year of craving this authenticity has also brought with it great turmoil. I have spent much… Continue reading

Close Your Bible. Open Your Mind.

To all the Christians who think people who commit certain “sins” are going to hell, well, I must tell you, I would rather be in “hell” with all the loving, accepting, free-thinking people… Continue reading

How A Pastor’s Kid Survived Sexual and Emotional Suppression, Came Out Gay and Got Married at 44 Years Old

Okay, this is going to be a bit lengthy, so if you need to make some popcorn or pour a glass of wine, I would suggest doing it now. This is Netflix material!… Continue reading

My Purpose Isn’t for the Four Walls of Church. My Purpose is for the Real World.

March 10, 1998 (Journal entry of mine) “…Dan encouraged me and then prophesied over me that I am going to be ministering to people – that I will affect a lot of people… Continue reading

I Was A “True Believer”

I recently read an article that a friend sent me and it validated in fresh words, why I have felt more anger and depression and grief from exiting Christ Church Kirkland, than others… Continue reading

Learning to Love Myself. My Inner Being.

Learning to love ME. Not so easy when you grow up in a culture that persuades you to forget/deny yourself and give everything you’ve got to “the Lord” and the church. I’ve written… Continue reading

The Bible and The Church Never Taught Me Unconditional Love

I started going to church with my family at 5 years old. For 30 years, I attended church every week. I read my Bible every day. My life was Christianity, the church and… Continue reading

“Jill, We Need to Talk.” Norm Willis

You can get to where you want to be from wherever you are—but you must stop spending so much time noticing and talking about what you do not like about where you are. … Continue reading

Dear Alcohol, What Are You Here For?

Push it down, it comes out sideways Push it down, it comes back up    ~ Travis Meadows, Sideways There was a time I didn’t understand why people had addictions to drugs and… Continue reading

Men of Quality Respect Women’s Equality

“I thought it wouldn’t matter since you are a lesbian.” A comment a Christian guy friend made to me after I confronted him about his inappropriate touching and shady behavior with me. This… Continue reading

Adios You Toxic People

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. – Marcel Proust The older I get, the more I recognize what a true… Continue reading

God Made Me Gay

It is easy for some of us to be told what to think and how to think and not spend the time finding our own individual values and ethical principles. This was the… Continue reading

GOD = LOVE

I was wired at birth to be forging the way for deep, meaningful, and life-giving relationships. I take my friendships seriously, and place great importance on their place in my life. (Often times,… Continue reading

At Christ Church Kirkland I learned, “I’ll love you as long as…”

  For years at Christ Church Kirkland, my life decisions were heavily influenced by my mentors. Mentors or as we called them, “discipler’s”, were those more spiritual than me that I was mandated to… Continue reading

The Infallible Word of Jill

Since I was 5 years old, I was going to church and reading the bible or having the bible read to me. When I was around 6 years old, my family and I went… Continue reading

I don’t believe in Jesus. I believe in LOVE.

Do you know what a polemicist is without looking it up in the dictionary? I didn’t when I read in my astrological Gemini traits of a potential career. That word popped out at… Continue reading

Conscious Living Requires Courage

Worry and fear are thieves that rob us from the ability to change. Never Broken by Jewel   Why do we wait to create the life we want? Do we really know ourselves?… Continue reading

Riding the Waves of Pain

…to give up all limited thinking, to take each moment into your heart, and to abandon all urges to call anything good or bad, “black” or “white”, right or wrong, enough or not… Continue reading

  • A Little About Me

    My name is Jill. I’m a writer, deep thinker and on a quest to BE PRESENT and BE LOVE. I’m an ex-churchgoer. I’ve lived in 27 different places in my life. I was once an island dweller and I’ve been a pioneer in a handful of start-up organizations in the USA, Switzerland, and Honduras. Oh and I should mention that I was a real 40-yr-old virgin  when I came out. I hope to validate others experiences in abusive churches by sharing my stories and truths. I want you to leave here thinking differently and honoring that still small voice within you.

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